We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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