I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
