apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
wow bdsm is so cute
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
