i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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