Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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