I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Congratulations! We have a period
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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