i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
you made out with another girl for some wings
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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