already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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