ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
