I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
