we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize