Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
