Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We had sex on a dog bed..
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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