I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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