Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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