I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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