I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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