operation harelip BJ is a go
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
