I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
