By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize