I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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