i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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