I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
