i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
