two words...techno handjob
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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