I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
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