lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
