He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
