I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
