morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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