My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize