Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
