So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
