I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Of course I have a pirate flag
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
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