Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
