Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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