Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
i think im in europe. pls send help
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize