i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
