You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
