You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
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