okay pat passed out under dana's car
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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