So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
