So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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