Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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