you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
