Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
