Pants 0. Shit 1.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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