If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
