My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I cut my penus on the lid.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
