Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
