Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
