The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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