Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
