I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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