i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
