found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
