i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
