he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
