Can Purell be used as lube?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Randomize
