I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
