A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Alive.
So much puke
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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