Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Vodka?
Forever.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize