At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize