Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
