I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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