I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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