Do you still have your period?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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