it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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